Is It Okay to Be Angry as a Teenager?

Dear Lyfteenites,

A few weeks ago, I watched a teenage boy walk out on his mother angrily, slamming the door. With tears in his eyes, he ran to a playground, crying bitterly. I ask myself, Why is he crying? Is he angry at his mom or at himself?

I walked towards him after a little while and consoled him. Then suddenly he started talking, pouring out his mind.

"Growing up is just too stressful!!!

Why do I have to be controlled?

Why don’t I have access to everything I want?

Why do I have to follow all the rules?

I want my freedom; I’m just too tired. . ."

He continued, "I keep dealing with school pressures, friends who want me to be perfect all the time, family expectations, and the whirlwind of emotions that come with puberty. Among these emotions, I get angry a lot!"

But is it okay to be angry as a teenager? He asked.

Understanding Anger

You need to first understand that anger is a natural emotion and is often misunderstood. Everyone feels it from time to time, and it serves a purpose. It’s your brain’s way of telling you that something doesn’t seem right. Maybe someone treated you unfairly, or you’re frustrated with a difficult situation. Anger can motivate you to take action and solve problems.

Why Do Teenagers Feel Anger More Intensely?

Then you ask yourself, “Why do i feel anger more intensely?”

During adolescence, your body and mind are undergoing significant changes. Hormones are fluctuating, which can intensify your emotions, including anger. Additionally, you’re learning how to navigate complex social situations, assert your independence, and form your identity. All these factors can make anger more frequent and intense. However, the bible reminds us in Proverbs 19:11 that “the discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.

Know that your frequent and intense anger will only stir up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel (Proverbs 15:18).

Is It Okay to Be Angry?

Yes, it’s absolutely okay to be angry. What matters is how you handle it. Bottling up your anger can lead to stress, anxiety, and even physical health issues. On the other hand, expressing anger in unhealthy ways, like shouting or physical aggression, can harm your relationships and lead to negative consequences. Even the Bible makes us understand in Proverbs 15:1 that “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Healthy Ways to Deal with Anger

These pointers will assist you in controlling your anger in a constructive manner:

• Acknowledge your feelings: Admit that you’re upset and make an effort to figure out why. Knowing what’s causing your anger can enable you to deal with it better.
• Take a break: Retrace your steps if you sense your anger getting worse. To calm down, take a stroll, listen to music, or engage in another enjoyable activity.
• Communicate: Discuss what enraged you when you’re ready. Own up to your emotions to avoid placing blame on other people. For instance, Say “I feel upset when...” rather than “You always...”
• Find an outlet: Engaging in physical activity, such as jogging or sports, can assist in letting go of pent-up anxiety. Playing music, writing, or sketching are examples of creative pursuits that can be excellent emotional releasers.
• Seek support: Don’t be afraid to discuss your feelings with a counsellor, family member, or trusted friend. Having someone listen to you can be really beneficial at times.
• Pray your way through it: Go to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to help reduce or control your anger. Believe in your heart that you are loved by Him, no matter what situation you find yourself in. And remember, He has the best listening ear.